In the midst of my final semester of Mortuary College I have this vague sense of the end being close to my grasp. Granted, I underestimated my Comps class & the commitment it requires when taken along w/ other courses. But I think back to a few semesters ago & how daunting it all seems & I feel so silly for thinking it was impossible. It is possible. In fact, at this point it is inevitable.
I have my required embalming case reports. All 25. My sign-off solo embalming will take place next month. That seemed so far off 2-3 semesters ago. I felt like going from 5 to 25 embalming was just not going to happen in 2 semesters. Not so. Some weekends I was sure we'd embalmed everybody in the Mid-state area but the reality was I was working toward my goal. And now, I've met that goal. The feeling of elation at this victory probably won't be met until I complete my first solo embalming successfully. Ha.
In my Practicum, I've begun to feel welcome & part of a team. Although the last few weeks haven't been as busy as I'd like, I'm hopeful about my Practicum days coming up. What I've most felt in being the funeral home's office is how much I miss working in one everyday. It's been almost 3 years since I left Alaska & the funeral home that have me my start. I miss working in that setting. I miss the deep sense of fulfillment at serving our families. I very much hope that after I complete my courses this summer, I'll be able to work in that setting once again before serving my apprenticeship.
Going back to work means finding a daycare for my now 18 month old daughter. I have to admit, I'm nervous about this. I know I'm projecting my own feelings of social anxiety & she'll love daycare but I'm still nervous. I remind myself daily that she isn't a little baby anymore. She's so big & independent. Sometimes it breaks my heart.
The end of babyhood.
The end of college (for now).
The beginning of a truly wonderful life.